"The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of."
–Holly Golightly, Breakfast At Tiffany's
So here I am with more than enough to be thankful for- a job that I like, doing what I love to do (writing and events), in an organization not perfect but I believe in, great friends that make my days, getting to do most of the things I want to do, moving to a new and nicer place, family in ok health- everything that I prayed for seems to be falling into place, slowly but surely. That should make for happy-doodle days, right?
Not exactly.
It’s either I am so PMSing or something is fundamentally wrong with me.
I am actually scared that I don’t deserve all these. That one day, all of these will be swept up from under my feet like a rug. And of course, there’s the matter of wanting to be in love again. Such a party pooper. And why am I still thinking about that fumbled attempt of something-something? Note to self: not worth it, sweetie. You've done all you could. Trust myself to believe in someone so easily. Man, where has my inner Pollyanna gone? Is it a sign of getting old, or has cynicism finally taken a grip? Oh as usual, there are the good and the bad days. This weekend was bad and my time for sulking and moping is done. Until the next session then. Cheerios!
This neurosis is brought to you by Nine West and the need for retail therapy.
Can’t wait to see Toshio with his espasol complexion again. Annapots says, kebatabata pa, nag-chinchansu na. This should be fun.
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