Someone once told me, a kiss is just a kiss, unless you choose to see what’s beneath it. Well I daresay, sometimes a date is just a date: the whole act of guy meets girl, mustering up the courage to ask her out and proceeds to dazzle her with his wit, humor, gentlemanly manners and great conversation. Movies, a dinner and a ride right up to the doorstep and you’ve got the classic formula of age-old stories. What happens then, when the story stops right there? I’ve always had this three-date rule. I will only get to date three if there was any chemistry or if he has potential. It is pretty much easy to see if one can remain friends/acquaintances with someone and I can be upfront, even blasé about such things. No biggie. What happens then, when I don’t even understand how in the world Date One came to be? And what happens when, after a seemingly really nice time together, dare I say I like him? And dammit, why start in the first place what you cannot, for the world of me, see through? Oh, but enough of my protestations and feigning insignificance of what happened. It is done, over with. He knows where to find me, knows my number. He should know by now I liked him- enough to go out with him. Tadaaa...newsflash! He is just not that into me. And you know what? Thinking this way is really so much easier on my brain. Used to be I would be analyzing over and over. Well, I did, for a limited time, but I am so proud to say that I have not beaten this issue to death. And I can truly say that I am not affected the way I imagined myself to be. Used to be I would be pining away for these perceived emotions and illusions. Not anymore. I have grown up. I ain’t waiting in vain for your love baby.
On another note, my friends have been teasing me and giving me a hard time about it, thinking I must be so into him. They say we look great together, tell me everything he does so its not impossible to know about him and on another hand, advise me I should stay away from such types. Bah, what great friends.
Which makes me think then: is my whole new outlook making me a cynic in the making? Is this making me miss out on things (and people) because I choose to be pragmatic about his response – or in this case, non-response? Is this not the perfect way to guard your heart? I mean, after all, when someone is into you, they’re going to make it known, whether you like him back or not, wherever in the world that person may be. Trust me, I know. So I guess I could rest easy then. I really should remember to have my wits about me when I need them.
(repost, sometime ago, still kind of true today. different characters, same story. notice the pattern.)
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