whutevaaah!

You guys saw that cute little kid on YouTube? :)



So, I may not be as cute as this little girl, but my entry is really that- whatever! :)

Going through my drafts, I came upon this and realized that this perfectly echoes what I felt sometime last Friday.

If one read some entries, it would seem like I am one sad little girl. Well that would be both correct and untrue.

Just because I think a lot, just because I have a lot of I wonder and aha moments do not mean that I’m also always in some deep dark corner and moping. Well, not entirely incorrect again because I can be really deep and serious but anyone who know me well know can attest that I am a silly goose.

Why am I justifying my thoughts, in my blog? I think I just want to be comforted with the fact that while innately I am still the same, I also know myself well enough that I embrace change as necessary to living. That no matter how slow, fast, or whirlwind everything might get, I still know me and that I am not afraid to make mistakes anymore. I joyfully accept any failures as much as any victory. I will not listen to that voice at the back of my head that criticizes my every move, that voice that is in constant anticipation of failure- my inner nag, as someone I know calls it. Listen people, everyone is entitled to their own share of mistakes and everyone deserves a do-over. Ask me if you haven’t gotten your supply yet.

Ok then, on to explaining myself- something that I hate doing, but ah well, there you have it.

Life has been good to me, even if I haven’t been good all the time. For me to deny the fact that I have unhappy moments is to deny the happy moments that I have felt. So when someone tells me that I seem unhappy and incomplete, I sometimes wonder where they would get that idea. What exactly is their barometer of happiness? Is it being with somebody? Is it being happily married, with 1.5 kids, a dog and that white picket fence? Is it being at the top of your corporate game, or being ahead in your ventures and adventures? Admittedly, it gets infuriating, when people automatically assume that being single equals being unhappy. With everything that’s on my plate right now, I honestly haven’t paused long enough to wish for things that are not mine- yet. See, I have this habit of taking life by the reins and not wasting any more time moping. While maybe other single women pine and bemoan their singledom, I have places to see, things to do, people to see and things to accomplish. If other people cannot seem to understand that my happiness is really unto me, then woe to them.

So even if people require explanations all the time, the only person I will need clarifying with is me- as long as I can live with myself happily, am good. Now I wonder if he can actually say that about himself.