sleeping, you look like a defiant angel, all soft and yet poised to fight.
could there be anything more sure than a piece of a puzzle falling into place?
what if you were my answered prayer?
i stopped questioning :what ifs: a long time ago.
but, what if?
shush. have faith. be still.
-----
looking out of the window was part of the pattern, that :sit, wait and your prince will come: syndrome, bedamned those fairy tales you grow up with.
this time, looking out the window on a sunny, lazy summer day, he walks by. and looks up.
the conscious/unconscious looking up, in anticipation, in waiting for you to arrive- one really doesn't expect anyone, but one always looks up, almost in reflex, instinctively, perhaps?
that sip and stare motion that you do absent-mindedly, cinnamon wafting up your nose. the comfort of a caramel macchiato in your hands and suddenly
he looks up and for a split second, he's inside your head,
you smile and remember better times.
and you didn't even know someone could see you from up there.
Monday, April 23, 2007
hope is a waking dream*
"There comes a time when you must stand alone. You must feel confident enough within yourself to follow your own dreams.
You must be willing to make sacrifices.You must be capable of changing and rearranging your priorities so that your final goal can be achieved.
Sometimes, familiarity and comfort need to be challenged.There are times when you must take a few extra chances and create your own realities.
Be strong enough to at least try to make your life better.
Be confident enough that you won't settle for a compromise just to get by.
Appreciate yourself by allowing yourself the opportunities to grow, develop, and find your true sense of purpose in this life. Don't stand in someone else's shadow when it's your sunlight that should lead the way.” (and i totally forgot where i got this...)
in fits and bursts of darkness comes clarity and somehow, a map to show you the way from that bumpy road, only to be replaced by another goose-bumpy road. getting there, getting there. acceptance. letting go and yet hoping. holding my hand. seeing a defiant angel. why and why not. i can see clearly now, it's almost blinding. i know where home is, for now.
*from good old pareng aristotle
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
'eto na
two cups of coffee and brewing...
one stick of ciggie and inhaling...
why?! whay? huwaaaay?! do we do this to ourselves?!!
one stick of ciggie and inhaling...
why?! whay? huwaaaay?! do we do this to ourselves?!!
funstuff
| Guys Like That You're Charming |
 You're the girl most guys can't get out of their heads, even if they met you on a bad hair day :-)You just seem to "click" with everyone you meet. So even if a guy forgets about you for a second... his friends haven't! |
Thursday, April 12, 2007
da who
...itich na batang ito, with da bangs, da bug shades and the emo/kikay poses? ay naku. cge, laughter's on me...
:)
i promise, i didn't go to the salon carrying my baby pictures as pegs...
mwahaha
wannabee artiste
gosh i miss drawing, sketching and doing artsy-fartsy stuff... played around with an original sketch (of me) by a friend (while we were at an office recollection *shh...*) sorry for messing up your sketch kolai! :D
post it!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
and to clean my aura...
never mind na the kabaklaan, melai and i were screaming like grown girls gone high on dark chocolate over these cuties: mr. world 2007!
5 Things I've Learned Watching MW:
1-who would think may Ms U of male hotties the world over? and in fairness, they had a pretty great production, with shades of deuce bigalow in all its glory.
2-i could be their facilitator! i can, i can! there is nothing i am more sure of! if only i could have done their teambuilding games...saya! :D
3-hah! mygas! there IS hope in this world...kaya pala world peace ang requisite answer sa pageants...ahlavet! hahaha... =))
4-i think i can survive living in brazil...or spain...or greece, india, lebanon...or italy...sige na nga, i take brazil; melai you take spain! citizens of the world, together we will rule the world! *mwahahaha*
5-i can't get any gayer than this. and the last time i thought that was when i chanced upon a designer gay friend wearing the exact same purple scarf i had. hah!
ok, ok, there's a 6th AND a 7th- there is nothing more therapeutic than screaming your lungs out a la-JD, the queen bersheba of bantayan; and picking out my faves for the pic, i can seeeee a paaaatternnn...nooneenoo ;)
ok, ok, there's a 6th AND a 7th- there is nothing more therapeutic than screaming your lungs out a la-JD, the queen bersheba of bantayan; and picking out my faves for the pic, i can seeeee a paaaatternnn...nooneenoo ;)
enjoy- if this doesn't make you smile, then i don't know what will!
damnbloggit
you are by far the most selfish, egocentric and bitchiest person i know. i never thought i'd use bitchy to call you, but there you are. ironically, we were close, inseparable. silly me to count on the fact that we became fast friends. apparently, we're not :close: enough. at the first sign of change, you turn around and go on your merry way, leaving me in the dust.
is friendship too much to hope for? why couldn't i count on you to listen, to be there when i have news? why can't i expect to say a simple thank you when i do stuff for you? simple appreciation would be way more than enough. is it to much to want to feel included?
but, be that as it may, i cannot change who you are. i cannot change the fact that you may just be incapable of love, of kindness. and i pity you. i’m not just saying that out of spite, because i really do. because despite your bravado and pomposity, you just have never felt loved; because i understand that you need to grow up and i understand, no matter how many damn times i flinch, i still freakin’ understand. god knows i have done nothing but understand. because of that, i will choose to cut down the strings, let you go; choose not to get hurt of imagined and real slights; i will choose kindness in response to cattiness, i will choose happiness in repayment of betrayal.
is friendship too much to hope for? why couldn't i count on you to listen, to be there when i have news? why can't i expect to say a simple thank you when i do stuff for you? simple appreciation would be way more than enough. is it to much to want to feel included?
but, be that as it may, i cannot change who you are. i cannot change the fact that you may just be incapable of love, of kindness. and i pity you. i’m not just saying that out of spite, because i really do. because despite your bravado and pomposity, you just have never felt loved; because i understand that you need to grow up and i understand, no matter how many damn times i flinch, i still freakin’ understand. god knows i have done nothing but understand. because of that, i will choose to cut down the strings, let you go; choose not to get hurt of imagined and real slights; i will choose kindness in response to cattiness, i will choose happiness in repayment of betrayal.
fun post: mdm.aura alert
...in lieu of a deeply scathing one that i just had to write down and in lieu of loads and loads of stuff i haven't gotten around to writing yet...
try it for yourself!
You entered: Marie Angelica Nuñez Gonzales
There are 25 letters in your name.Those 25 letters total to 119
There are 12 vowels and 13 consonants in your name.
What your first name means:
Hebrew Female Variant of Mary: Wished-for child; rebellion; bitter.
French Female Variant of Latin Mary: bitter.
English Female Variant of Latin Mary: bitter.
Your number is: 11
The characteristics of #11 are: High spiritual plane, intuitive, illumination, idealist, a dreamer.
The expression or destiny for #11:
Your Expression number is 11. The number 11 is the first of the master numbers. It is associated with idealistic concepts and rather spiritual issues. Accordingly, it is a number with potentials that are somewhat more difficult to live up to. You have the capacity to be inspirational, and the ability to lead merely by your own example. An inborn inner strength and awareness can make you an excellent teacher, social worker, philosopher, or advisor. No matter what area of work you pursue, you are very aware and sensitive to the highest sense of your environment. Your intuition is very strong; in fact, many psychic people and those involved in occult studies have the number 11 expression. You possess a good mind with keen analytical ability. Because of this you can probably succeed in most lines of work, however, you will do better and be happier outside of the business world. Oddly enough, even here you generally succeed, owing to your often original and unusual approach. Nonetheless, you are more content working with your ideals, rather than dollars and cents.
The positive aspect of the number 11 expression is an always idealistic attitude. Your thinking is long term, and you are able to grasp the far-reaching effects of actions and plans. You are disappointed by the shortsighted views of many of your contemporaries. You are deeply concerned and supportive of art, music, or of beauty in any form.
The negative attitudes associated with the number 11 expression include a continuous sense of nervous tension; you may be too sensitive and temperamental. You tend to dream a lot and may be more of a dreamer than a doer. Fantasy and reality sometimes become intermingled and you are sometimes very impractical. You tend to want to spread the illumination of your knowledge to others irrespective of their desire or need.
Your Soul Urge number is: 6
A Soul Urge number of 6 means: With a number 6 Soul Urge, you would like to be appreciated for your ability to handle responsibility. Your home and family are likely to be a strong focus for you, perhaps the strongest focus of your life. Friendship, love, and affection are high on your list of priorities for a happy life. You have a lot of diplomatic tendencies in your makeup, as you a able to rectify and balance situations with an innate skill. You like working with people rather than by yourself. It is extremely important for you to have harmony in your environment at all times.
The positive side of the 6 Soul Urge produces a huge capacity for responsibility; you are always there and ready to assume more than your share of the load. If you possess positive 6 Soul Urges and express them, you are known for your generosity, understanding and deep sympathetic attitude. Strong 6 energy is very giving of love, affection, and emotional support. You may have the inclination to teach or serve your community in other idealistic ways. You have natural abilities to help people. You are also likely to have artistic and creative leanings.
If you have an over-supply of 6 energy in your makeup, you may express some of the negative traits common to this number. With such a strong sympathetic attitude, it is easy to become too emotional. Sometimes the desires to render help can be over done, and it can become interfering and an attitude that is too protective, rather than helpful. The person with too much 6 energy often finds that people tend to take advantage of this very giving spirit. You may tend to repress your own needs so that you can cater to the demands from others. At times, there may be a tendency in this, for becoming over-loaded with such demands, and as a result become resentful.
Your Inner Dream number is: 5
An Inner Dream number of 5 means: You dream of being totally free and unrestrained by responsibility. You see yourself conversing and mingling with the natives in many nations, living for adventure and life experiences. You imagine what you might accomplished.
try it for yourself!
You entered: Marie Angelica Nuñez Gonzales
There are 25 letters in your name.Those 25 letters total to 119
There are 12 vowels and 13 consonants in your name.
What your first name means:
Hebrew Female Variant of Mary: Wished-for child; rebellion; bitter.
French Female Variant of Latin Mary: bitter.
English Female Variant of Latin Mary: bitter.
Your number is: 11
The characteristics of #11 are: High spiritual plane, intuitive, illumination, idealist, a dreamer.
The expression or destiny for #11:
Your Expression number is 11. The number 11 is the first of the master numbers. It is associated with idealistic concepts and rather spiritual issues. Accordingly, it is a number with potentials that are somewhat more difficult to live up to. You have the capacity to be inspirational, and the ability to lead merely by your own example. An inborn inner strength and awareness can make you an excellent teacher, social worker, philosopher, or advisor. No matter what area of work you pursue, you are very aware and sensitive to the highest sense of your environment. Your intuition is very strong; in fact, many psychic people and those involved in occult studies have the number 11 expression. You possess a good mind with keen analytical ability. Because of this you can probably succeed in most lines of work, however, you will do better and be happier outside of the business world. Oddly enough, even here you generally succeed, owing to your often original and unusual approach. Nonetheless, you are more content working with your ideals, rather than dollars and cents.
The positive aspect of the number 11 expression is an always idealistic attitude. Your thinking is long term, and you are able to grasp the far-reaching effects of actions and plans. You are disappointed by the shortsighted views of many of your contemporaries. You are deeply concerned and supportive of art, music, or of beauty in any form.
The negative attitudes associated with the number 11 expression include a continuous sense of nervous tension; you may be too sensitive and temperamental. You tend to dream a lot and may be more of a dreamer than a doer. Fantasy and reality sometimes become intermingled and you are sometimes very impractical. You tend to want to spread the illumination of your knowledge to others irrespective of their desire or need.
Your Soul Urge number is: 6
A Soul Urge number of 6 means: With a number 6 Soul Urge, you would like to be appreciated for your ability to handle responsibility. Your home and family are likely to be a strong focus for you, perhaps the strongest focus of your life. Friendship, love, and affection are high on your list of priorities for a happy life. You have a lot of diplomatic tendencies in your makeup, as you a able to rectify and balance situations with an innate skill. You like working with people rather than by yourself. It is extremely important for you to have harmony in your environment at all times.
The positive side of the 6 Soul Urge produces a huge capacity for responsibility; you are always there and ready to assume more than your share of the load. If you possess positive 6 Soul Urges and express them, you are known for your generosity, understanding and deep sympathetic attitude. Strong 6 energy is very giving of love, affection, and emotional support. You may have the inclination to teach or serve your community in other idealistic ways. You have natural abilities to help people. You are also likely to have artistic and creative leanings.
If you have an over-supply of 6 energy in your makeup, you may express some of the negative traits common to this number. With such a strong sympathetic attitude, it is easy to become too emotional. Sometimes the desires to render help can be over done, and it can become interfering and an attitude that is too protective, rather than helpful. The person with too much 6 energy often finds that people tend to take advantage of this very giving spirit. You may tend to repress your own needs so that you can cater to the demands from others. At times, there may be a tendency in this, for becoming over-loaded with such demands, and as a result become resentful.
Your Inner Dream number is: 5
An Inner Dream number of 5 means: You dream of being totally free and unrestrained by responsibility. You see yourself conversing and mingling with the natives in many nations, living for adventure and life experiences. You imagine what you might accomplished.
Monday, April 02, 2007
the song that cheered me up today
such a pretty song, ano?
------------------------------
Way Back into Love
ost, music and lyrics
I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need `em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's gotta be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there in the end
------------------------------
Way Back into Love
ost, music and lyrics
I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need `em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's gotta be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there in the end
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)