overdue musings on a play

I went to see Orfeo two Fridays ago and while I anticipated I would love it, I didn't imagine this would ignite once again my love for theater. Or the fact that just being in the same breathing room as these exceptionally talented artists would both inspire me and intimidate me, shake me to the core. And I am not being the drama queen here. I swear, I couldn't even go up to the actors to congratulate them! I shrivel with insignificance beside them!
Since I was in grade school, I have been involved in theater and the performance arts. I was in ballet after school, in jazz class summers, in recitals left and right, in chorales, in declamations and extemporaneous speeches. When the awkwardness of puberty set in, plus the demands of adjusting to yet another school, I was relegated to the background but that didn't stop me from satisfying my thirst for theater. I was the set designer, costume designer, make-up artist, stage manager, scripwriter, extra tree anyone? or a shrub? Anything for theater! I even narrowly escaped being grounded for life and shipped to God knows where because I had to lie about rehearsals every night for a couple of months. And oh, the time when I had to commute home in my colegiala uniform and a maniac accosted me. Ah, anything, anything for my art. At that time, ma-arte was more like it.
When had I stopped dreaming of a dream world? I don't believe that theater has lost it's magic on me. Maybe my growing up and living a life that's expected of me got in the way, which is all the more reason for me to admire and bow down to those who have chosen to live such a bohemian life. So much courage and strength to not only pursue your passion, but to actually live it.

One of the reasons I chose to (again) pack my bags and strike it out on my own is to be free to pursue what I love to do- theater among them. But, life being as it is, I get thrown every curveball there is. So here I am now, three years after, and I have yet to say that I have actually done what it is I set out to do. That is, assuming that I know what these damn things are.

The beauty of the soda fountain (in Orfeo) is that it was seemingly unattainable. But it was always there, a constant reminder that one must always aspire to be better, despite of and inspite of. The soda fountain of our dreams is waiting.

Oh, never mind if the closest thing I get to theater is to watch it again and again.
I just get a funny, fluttery feeling in my tummy whenever I think about it. Hay, this must be love.

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."
- Joseph Campbell