and this song is brought to you by...

Snow Patrol

:You Could Be Happy:

You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go

And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur

Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do

More than anything I want to see you, girl
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

___________

Admittedly, my previous post is inspired by this song, which I've been listening to on my way to work. Guess why? Heeh.

Don't you just love the lyrics? I especially love the line: More than anything I want to see you, girl, Take a glorious bite out of the whole world. There's something so poignant about the song, the way it speaks of letting go and hope, of remembering the good times and being in love enough to set someone free, even if he was your happiness. After all, the best way to love is to love from afar, I learned from someone. Is it really? Aargh, sappy mode. Haha.

Anyways.
One other reason why I’m beginning to appreciate their music is that they remind me of Oasis (chupets days), and it’s not really surprising since they’re British too. I’d love to be able to get a CD of that live session they had at Abbey Road Studios for Live From Abbey Road sometime October 2006- they shared airtime with Madelein Peyroux and the Red Hot Chili Peppers!

RHCP was part of the soundtrack in Aggiornamento, a play we did in high school that depicted the signs of the times- well, at least during those times. What I loved most was the fact that I got involved in almost all aspects- from concept, writing, stage design and a bit of acting :-) I remember making a pitcher plant out of my tallest classmate, who’s now a model. Good times.

So from Oasis, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and now Snow Patrol- I seem to have discovered a pattern to my life’s soundtrack and what they mean to me.

Incidentally, I caught an episode of SNL over the weekend, the one hosted by Julia-Louis Dreyfus (of The New Adventures of the Old Christine) and Snow Patrol performed “You’re All I Have” and “Chasing Cars.”

Download!

couldn't be happier

well, i could be, but right now

my eyes still sting from the saltwater
my whole body is aching
my back kind of stings from the sun
my ears still need a bit of popping and a wee bit headachey

and i couldn't be happier.

next up: my first diving trip to anilao :)

post from the past

last may.

some favorite shots taken at my dream house, my lolo-tito's at greenhills. finally got uploaded from anna's cam-phone.

in fairness. pinag-pawisan at effort talaga yan!
more pics on my friendster page :)

have a happy long weekend people!
i know i'll have one ;)

how to spell the word :baby:

ang cute talaga naman di ba?!
whahaha

photoshopping therapy

well, this made me smile :)

better than shopping therapy- photoshopping :P
check out the new title/header.

goody, ahlavet.

:)

medyo 'di lang nga center-ish, but whatever :)

grrrrr...with a capital G

Top Ten Gripes:

1- Busting your ass and not getting the results you want.
2- Complaining- no, whining, about the way things are but (as yet) cannot do anything about it. (Partly me to blame, but just you wait, as soon as I get things in order...)
3- Exceeding your own expectations and yet not meeting others'. The worst because I expect a whole lot from myself- maybe the whole great expectations tirade is a result of mismatch? Well, now we know!
4- People waiting to talk and not listening.
5- Taking for granted the things that I do.
6- Uncivilized people not knowing their boundaries.
7- Self-interest. (But, must I blame them? We are all bound to look out for our self-interests.)
8- People not being able to wait their turn.
9- Still, people not taking no for an answer.
10- And people asking me questions, to which my usual answer would be, and that is my problem because...?

ayan. ganda ng araw ko di ba?!

Sometimes its just so hard to remain calm and collected when everything and everyone is tearing you apart. It's now taking so much more to make me smile, to make me laugh.

And sometimes, it just feels so damn good not to care. Because I have been doing that for the past freakin' six years and look where it has gotten me.

God, I need a drink. And it's only a Tuesday (that feels like a manic Monday).

goodnight and go

:imogen heap:


Say goodnight and go
Skippin beats, flashing jeeps
I am struggling
Daydreaming, been sitting, the corner cafe
And I'm left in bits, recovered tectonic, trembling
You get me everytime
Why'd you have to be so cute
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go
Follow you home
You've got your headphones one
And your dancing
Got lucky, beautiful shot
You're taking everything off
Watch the curtains, wide open
And you fall in the same routine
Flicking through the TV
Relaxed and reclining
And you think you're alone

Oh why'd you have to be so cute
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go

One of these days
You'll miss your train, and come stay with me
It's always say goodnight and go
We'll have drinks and talk about things
And any excuse to stay awake with you
You'd sleep here, I'd sleep there
But then the heating may be down again
At my convenience
We'd be good, we'd be great together

Why is it always
Say goodnight and go

psychedelicious

i want moss green walls
chocolate brown and pretty pink stripes

warm white blankets and
soft sky blue pillows

symphony no. 2 in c minor
of wiener philharmoniker

with a cup of passion
and the sea waves crashing sweetly

to be born with less than what the rest of us have
and yet to achieve more than what we can ever hope for in one lifetime.
what right do we have to complain when we are so blessed
and all you need to do is to live your life as full as you can?

postsecret love

half-life

:duncan sheik:

I'm awake in the afternoon
I fell asleep in the living room
and it's one of those moments
when everything is so clear

before the truth goes back into hiding
I want to decide 'cause it's worth deciding
to work on finding something more than this fear

It takes so much out of me to pretend
tell me now, tell me how to make amends

maybe, I need to see the daylight
to leave behind this half-life
don't you see I'm breaking down

lately, something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life
is there really no escape?
no escape from time of any kind

I keep trying to understand
this thing and that thing, my fellow man
I guess I'll let you know when i figure it out

but I don't mind a few mysteries
they can stay that way it's fine by me
and you are another mystery I am missing

It takes so much out of me to pretend

maybe, I need to see the daylight
to leave behind this half-life
don't you see I'm breaking down

Lately, something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life
is there really no escape?
no escape from time
of any kind

come on let's fall in love
come on let's fall in love
come on let's fall in love
again

'cause lately something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life,
without you I am breaking down

wake me, let me see the daylight
save me from this half-life
let's you and I escape
escape from time

come on let's fall in love
come on let's fall in love
come on let's fall in love
again

just because

You wait, wanting this world
To let you in
And you stand there
A frozen light
In dark and empty streets
You smile hiding behind
A God-given face
But I know you're so much more
Everything they ignore
Is all that I need to believe

You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in

I wish
Wishing for you to find your way
And I'll hold on for all you need
That's all we need to say
I'll take my chances while
You take your time with
This game you play
But I can't control your soul
You need to let me know
You leaving or you gonna stay

You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in

There's nothing we can do about
The things we have to do without
The only way to feel again
Is let love in

There's nothing we can do about
The things we have to live without
The only way to see again
Is let love in

You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in

:let love in, goo goo dolls (of chupets days):

great weekend, got to take lots of pictures, very productive that way.
anilao diving weekend bumped up to the next long weekend instead of the planned 25th,
fixing stuff at work, getting better (i hope), and more, more clients! :)

fun!

passions runneth over

remembering the children

ice cream saturday, still at GK

GK saturday

One of the nicest weekends: taking pictures and spending the day with kids.

being polite...and tasty

found this and can so relate.

when the going gets tough, civilized people stay polite. ;)

heaven!

cahmons!

9th Cinemanila International Film Festival


What better way to spend the weekend?
Woohoo, true movie heaven!
Tarantino is in town too!

weekend not working

...well, sort of.

Things that made my weekend: Operative word here guys, is Spontaneous!
1- It was preceded by a generally stress-free week because of a lot of finished work.
2- A great time at Friday Mass, by a funny priest.
3- A relatively calm Friday and getting to go home early.
4- Spontaneously going out, instead of previous intricate, to-the-detail plans. (Pffsh. I know, I should be taking lessons in spontaneity. It’s so not me.)
5- Meeting nice new friends, reconnecting with old ones. (A throwback to last Friday too when I had dinner with Grace and Dennis, something that we should do more often!)
6- Getting to work on Saturday on overtime, despite a bit of a hangover, and yet, finishing a whole lot compared to when I’m sober. Haha.
7- Hangover defined as too much dizzy dancing and vodka at Warehouse. Fun, fun, fun.
8- Another spontaneous run to a casual dinner and movies at the house, with some of the same Friday night people.
9- A Sunday spa date and getting my requested masseuse. At the risk of being controversial, I swear going to the spa is (sometimes?) a whole lot better than sex. Well, maybe. Haha. My masseuse does things to my spine area- very important to me as I have mild scoliosis. She definitely gets the kinks out of my shoulders; she even has this thing that she does to my knees and feet that literally makes me weak-kneed, it’s that relaxing. Note to self- remember to buy own massage oil to bring to next session.
10- An afternoon spent in the café, catching up on my reading and writing.
Hay, that’s it, I am officially living for weekends now.
And oh, I was studying and learning my new yoga videos. It’s supposed to help me relax and limber up; yeah, well I got too relaxed, I fell asleep halfway through the one hour session. Must have been the breathe in-breathe out thing. Sheesh.

zhivago chuva

Man is born to live, not prepare for life. (Doctor Zhivago)

Surprise, surprise. Or not. The only reason I’ve been such a (relapsed) workaholic is that since I was little, my entire self-esteem was hinged on what I can do well, on achievements, on being the perfect daughter/granddaughter/niece/fill-in-the relationship blank. Because I have always been a pleaser, I thought that taking that linear path from school-work-eventual marriage and family would mean that I would have fulfilled my roles. Never mind that I didn’t stop and think for myself. Never mind if I didn’t stop and ask myself if this is what I wanted, never mind the fact that I did not honor my passions, that I didn’t seek inspiration to fuel my dreams. Sure, there have been countless chances that I did not take. In hindsight, and knowing that there is a reason for everything, I am sure that those missed chances were not just lost opportunities but also little clues, like small pieces of jigsaw puzzles that have contributed to my NOW.

Come to think of it, I have more to be grateful for these days. It used to take no more a bunch of videos to watch at home to make my weekend. Where is this constant craving for more coming from? I need to focus on what is, rather than what could be. I miss looking for the joy and humor in everyday situations.

And the things that make me sad the most are the things that I don’t have, all because of missed cues, pseudo relationships, feeding my ego and generally being untrue to myself. Well, at least getting better is something to do. I don’t want to wake up one day and realize that I have spent my youth in planning and priming myself for the things I want to do; really I should just head on and do it.

in the eternal quest to be better

...go granny :)